5 reasons why a long-distance relationship may not be for you anymore
It's time to be honest with ourselves. Is your long-distance relationship still for you? Sometimes it is much easier to ignore your own red flags than it is to self-reflect and determine whether or not you are happy to continue on the path that you are currently on. This is especially true when you don’t want to hurt your partner or yourself by ending the relationship; however, prolonging the inevitable only makes the future discussion that much worse. It is time to face the music and explore your inner mind. Let's be vulnerable and discuss if you are still happy to continue your long-distance relationship.
Here are 5 reasons why your long-distance relationship may not be for you anymore:
1. Time/ being busy
2. No longer passionate
3. Becoming distant
4. No longer a priority
5. No end date/ goal in mind
Disclaimer: Before we begin, I want to point out that this is simply an opinion. Any of the 5 reasons listed above may only be a temporary problem that is quickly resolved in the future. Let the opinion of this blog be an option you allow yourself to think about, but not a rule that you must follow.
Time – Being Busy
Relationships look different for everyone. However, spending quality is important no matter if you are physically close to your partner or not. Quality time is defined within your relationship, therefore, when one or both parties are unable to fulfill the quality time needed for your relationship to thrive; this is when problems may arise. Being busy can be fine if both parties are comfortable with that lifestyle. However, each person must be fully committed to their partner and the relationship despite their busy and or hectic schedule. When you find yourself in a place where your time is preoccupied and you no longer fulfill your duties to your relationship, this is a potential sign that it is no longer for you.
No Longer Passionate
How do you feel about your long-distance relationship? In the privacy of your own mind, where no one can hear your answer, how do you feel? Losing an interest or passion is normal for everyone. Especially, in a relationship that can feel as though it only exists in the comfort of your phone. Unfortunately, there can be times when all aspects of your life feel as though they are moving forward, however, your relationship feels as though it is standing still. Losing an interest in your relationship does not mean that there is no possibility that you will gain it back; but it is a potential sign of an underlying issue that needs to be resolved before you and your partner can move forward.
Losing passion and becoming distant seem similar, but they are different. You can say that the former tends to trigger the latter but that is not always the case. Becoming distant can stem from a feeling of indifference, where you neither love nor hate your relationship but continue it as a form of habit. Being distant in a long-distance relationship for a prolonged period of time can lead to many detrimental effects. Especially if, you do not have the right words or the confidence to express yourself to your partner without them misunderstanding and getting hurt. Depending on the individual, you can become distant over a long period of time, or you may be triggered by an acute event that has left a profound impact on you. Either way, it is important for you to self-reflect and come to a consensus, within yourself, if you should remain in a relationship to which you feel distant to.
No Longer A Priority
Building off of the feeling of being distant, when your relationship stops being a priority this may be a sign that it no longer serves a purpose in your life. No matter if you are in a long-distance relationship or not, putting things above your relationship that should not be there and or lowering the relationship on the poll of importance to you, is a sign that you are no longer interested. This is especially difficult in a long-distance relationship, as the regular priorities of the day tend to become easier to focus on than a relationship that requires, phone calls and facetime. However, when things are important to us, we find creative and efficient ways to express love and gratitude even when we are busy. When a relationship is no longer a priority for you, things that you happily did in the past may feel like a chore in the present. Consequently, things that you never overly cared about in the past, may seem more important now. As your relationship because an inconvenience rather than a place of fondness, you can easily allow it to slip into a place of unimportance in your life.
No End Date / Goal In Mind
Long-distance relationships, unlike every other relationship, require certain milestones (when will we see each other again?) and goals (when will we be together permanently?) in mind. If you spend months and years without some knowledge or understanding of when you and your partner will be together permanently, then issues may arise where you begin to wonder to yourself:
‘Why am I even doing this?’
‘What is the purpose of this relationship?’ and or
‘Can I even see a potential future with this person anymore?’
Not having a plan may lead to one of the 4 other problems we've listed above. At the beginning of a relationship, love and infatuation can carry you and your significant other along for a while. However, when things become challenging, having milestones and goals can be the foundation that anchors your relationship together until you are able to see each other again. Remember, a long-distance relationship is never the end, it is only the beginning.
Each of these points can be a stage of your relationship that can pass, or they can become a permanent feeling that cannot be replaced. Either way, when you find yourself in a place where these emotions feel far more permeant than an inconvenient moment, it is important to speak to your partner and have an open and vulnerable conversation where you both can feel heard and understood. Sometimes a relationship works out, sometimes it doesn't. Being in a long-distance relationship comes with a variety of challenges but being honest with yourself and your partner, shouldn't be one of them.
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